Race report

I finished the Applefest 1/2 Marathon today. After Abby was born, I set a goal to run it as a way to motivate myself to get back in shape. I actually started (finally) getting back into running right around the time I got pregnant with Abby. I had registered to do the Applefest last year, but when I found out I was pregnant, I decided to run the team 1/2 marathon, with Kenta as my teammate. Here was me at the Applefest a year ago:

And here I was today:

I totally chose the picture where I wasn't looking, but Abby was.

Abby was a passenger last year. I was more than glad to leave her with her daddy and run alone this year.

It was a cool, wet day. Nearly perfect running conditions. I felt pretty good starting out, but around mile 5, I really started hurting. And getting thirsty. There were water stops every 2 miles, but I was needing them every mile. I started to feel better again then things really started to go downhill around mile 8. Correction: things starting going UPHILL - I just started going downhill at that point. The hills really kicked my butt today. I walked. A lot. Am I disappointed that I had to walk? Yes....and no. I was not feeling well, and the walking did give me a temporary recharge, but walking is seriously the kiss of death. Once you give in, you can't stop. You just want to walk. And walk. And walk. Around mile 9, a very kind lady came up beside me and pulled me through the next 1/2 mile of hills. She was so very nice. I never found out what her name was. But she chatted with me and told me that she has four kids and started running about 5 years ago. She asked me if I had run a 1/2 before (yes, one) and I asked her if she had run the Applefest (no, but this was her 14th 1/2!! Pretty impressive). And she offered me some of her Gatorade. I happily obliged. I wish I could have stayed with her because she was being so nice and I felt bad letting her down when I had to walk, but I sent her on ahead.

Kenta was awesome. He played with the kids in the back of the minivan because it was wet and rainy outside:


Behold the hypnotic powers of Thomas the Tank Engine on the iphone. Thomas wasn't looking at the camera in a single one of these pictures.

Then he packed them up in the trailer and biked to the top of the hill at mile 10. It was so good to see them. I felt like a huge disappointment because of all the walking I had done, but I forged ahead, knowing that the end was pretty near.



I did eventually finish. I think my time was somewhere around 2:05. Not my best time, but I was just happy to finish......at least I keep trying to convince myself that I'm happy about it.

warning: the next few paragraphs contain serious Debbie Downer material. May not be suitable for happy people. Or any people, for that matter. Viewer discretion is advised.

I should feel good about having just run 13 miles, but the truth is - I'm really not. Back at the beginning of the summer when I started training, I was really excited about the Applefest. I could feel myself getting faster and stronger each time I ran. Then I got injured in August and couldn't run for almost a month. That was supposed to be the peak of my training, and I could.not.run. At that point, my emotions went from excitement to concern. I was worried about being able to run at all. I rested and eased back into training and had a really good training run about 2 weeks ago, and started to feel the excitement come back. Then I got sick and hurt my back late last week. So I went from excitement to dread. I felt like the energy and life had been sucked out of me. I knew I HAD to finish the race, but the way I was feeling, I was not looking forward to 13 miles. This week I mostly rested. I went out for one run. I wasn't feeling bad on the run, but I wasn't feeling awesome, either. I just knew I would be able to finish. After all I had been through with injury and illness, I really didn't care how long it took me. So, I was feeling pretty apathetic about the whole race in the days leading up to it. Probably not the best attitude to have if you want a good race. I just wanted to finish. And finish, I did.

I'm not writing this because I want anyone to feel sorry for me - I (mostly) ran 13 freakin' miles! That's a huge accomplishment! I could have NEVER done that 9 months postpartum with Thomas. I'm just disappointed that I really let the hills get me today. They royally spanked me. And I'm feeling very "blah" about the whole thing. I've never felt this way after a race. I usually feel like I can conquer the world. Instead I'm feeling like I wasted Kenta's time as he hauled the kids around the course in the bike to cheer for me in the rain. Not a legit way to feel, but I really let myself down, so I guess I feel like I let everyone else down.

When I got injured, I told myself that I should probably adjust my expectations, but I thought, "nahhhhh...I got this! I can gain that endurance back in three weeks!". It was more of a setback than I realized. Missing out on those long runs really hurt me today. I hate that I'm feeling so disappointed, but it is what it is. I guess I just need to write all my feelings down so Future Kendall can look back at Present Kendall and say, "Girrrrrrrl...you need to lighten up and GET.OVER.YOURSELF. This isn't the last race you will run. Learn from it and MOVE ON". And that's what I intend to do.

I try not to take myself too seriously when I run (three words: green, sparkly skirt). And I try to "enjoy the journey" as much as possible while I'm training. I have accomplished something great. I might not have PR'd today or broken 2 hrs. (that was my goal, pre-injury), but I am in way better shape now than I would have been if I hadn't chosen to train for the Applefest. And we'll be around here for a long time. I see many Applefests in my future.
And one last photo:

This is my awesome midwife, Autumn. She's looking pretty awesome for having just run 13 miles - after staying up half the night at a birth. She amazes me.

There you have it. I did it. Hooray! I've had a few hours to mull over the events of the day. I know I should (and absolutely do) feel lucky that my legs are capable of carrying my body 13 miles. It's just that feeling of disappointment that comes when you set a goal, work really hard for it, and it slips through your fingers. But life is all about overcoming challenges. Maybe this is why I keep getting sucked back into endurance races. There is nothing that feels quite as good as knowing that you did something hard and knowing that you did your best. There is also nothing that feels quite as disappointing as knowing that you stared a challenge in the face and let it smack you around like a rag doll. So, that's what I'm dealing with. Being a smacked-around rag doll. With really sore legs.