Remembering

I actually wrote this post three years ago. Since then, I have had two children and have forgotten a few of the details. How grateful I am that I wrote this down before my memory got fuzzy. I never want to forget how I felt on September 11, 2001. And I want my children to know how I felt on that day, too. Ten years has passed, but I still feel these emotions so vividly when I read or hear about events that took place that day. Here is my repost of my memories of 9/11:



I am going to deviate from my usual light-hearted posts and comment on something that has been on all of our minds today.

I usually describe myself as having a "swiss cheese brain": lots of information enters, but most of it escapes through the holes. However, there are some experiences and moments that I will never forget - and September 11, 2001 is one of those moments.

I remember driving home from my early morning seminary class to eat breakfast before I went to school. Right before I got home, I heard about a plane that had crashed into the World Trade Center. I mistakenly thought that it was a small cessna that had had some unfortunate accident. I went inside and my mom was watching Fox News (that is the only TV that she ever watches). In between the time that I had heard the news report in the car and the time that I saw the news at home, another plane had crashed into the towers. They appeared to have been commercial airliners. At that point, I began to doubt that it had been an accident.

I drove to school in a haze, not really processing what was going on. Most everyone was still confused about what was happening. I did not yet realize that it was a deliberate act of terrorism. I got to school and found my brother who had gone early that day for a marching band practice. None of the band members knew about the planes. I told him quickly what had happened and then I rushed off to class.

My first class that day was AP Biology with Ms. Hill. She had a reputation as being kind of a "tough chick" - I always imagined her as Rosie the Riviter - but on this day she was particularly quiet. Nobody could really concentrate on school work, so she found a teacher that had a TV in their classroom and we all went to watch the news. That's when I saw the towers fall. As I saw them fall, I felt as if my whole future was crumbling along with them. I couldn't hold back my tears and Ms. Hill put her arm around me and gave me a hug. She was crying, too. Here I was, a senior in high school and I thought my life was over. As with the rest of America, I felt fear and vulnerability for the very first time.

The rest of the day at school was spent listening to or watching the news. We heard about the other planes and the Pentagon. We slowly learned that it was a planned terrorist attack. We still couldn't understand why it had happened here - America! - the place that was supposed to be the "land of the free and the home of the brave". I remember watching the news at home that night and thinking, "Do I even bother applying for college? Will I even be able to go? What is going to happen to us?". My sister Maren had just left on her mission the month before (as did Kenta - but I didn't know him yet). Would she be okay? I remember talking to my oldest sister on the phone a few days later and she told me about the nightmares that she had been having. She was so worried for her children. What would the world be like when I had children? Would I even get to have that opportunity? I really felt like my future was gone.

With all of the concern and uncertainty that I was feeling, I remember being anxious to hear General Conference. I wanted to hear the Prophet. I wanted to hear reassuring words that would bring peace and comfort to my soul. I remember clearly President Hinckley's remarks:

"Now, brothers and sisters, we must do our duty, whatever that duty might be. Peace may be denied for a season. Some of our liberties may be curtailed. We may be inconvenienced. We may even be called on to suffer in one way or another. But God our Eternal Father will watch over this nation and all of the civilized world who look to Him. He has declared, "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord" (Ps. 33:12). Our safety lies in repentance. Our strength comes of obedience to the commandments of God.
Let us be prayerful. Let us pray for righteousness. Let us pray for the forces of good. Let us reach out to help men and women of goodwill, whatever their religious persuasion and wherever they live. Let us stand firm against evil, both at home and abroad. Let us live worthy of the blessings of heaven, reforming our lives where necessary and looking to Him, the Father of us all. He has said, "Be still, and know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10).
Are these perilous times? They are. But there is no need to fear. We can have peace in our hearts and peace in our homes. We can be an influence for good in this world, every one of us."

How grateful I am to live in this chosen land. I am grateful for all the freedoms and opportunities that we enjoy as citizens of this great nation. I am so thankful for the men and women today and throughout history, who have given their lives to preserve those freedoms. I hope that I will always remember the way I felt on September 11, 2001 because it changed me forever.

Do you remember?