Parent Hoods

Seriously...this blog so far reeks of lameness. So I, Kendall, hacked into Kenta's gmail account and am (finally) updating this blog. Or, more appropriately, blaahg. I promise after my recital (Wednesday, March 6 - 6:00 p.m.) I will work on figuring out how to add pictures and things and make it look pretty. But for now, words will have to suffice. Is anyone going to read this anyway? I wonder.

So, Kenta and I have taken a crash course in parenthood this weekend. We have been the surrogate mother and father of the four charming Mortensen children (Jocelyn-10, Mitchel-8, Marisa-7, and Abby-15 months) since approxomately 5:00 p.m. on Friday. I like kids and I am familiar with their ways and antics, so I wasn't overly concerned about the whole deal. Kenta is just an all around good guy and is too nice and doesn't know how to yell at kids (yet) so I don't think he was too worried either. What did get us both a little worried was the scarcity of homework/practice time on Saturday. I have a recital on Wednesday and Kenta is in grad school (enough said) so we are both pretty selfish with our study/practice time. And of course, both of us had Stake meetings yesterday, so we had to split up kid-watching and studying. My original plan was to leave early, practice before my meeting and then practice a little after while Kenta watched the kids. I would be home by 2:00, leaving him 2 hours of study without worrying about kids before his meetings began. Then he would come home a little after 9:00 and study until bedtime. In my mind, this was the perfect scenario. I thought "hey, I'll get a few good hours of practicing in, Kenta will probably be able to study while Abby is napping, then I'll come home and relieve himso he can study some more and then he can keep studying when he gets back from his meetings". Yes, it was the perfect plan. But of course, it was foiled. By Liquipoop.

I've seen plenty of dirty diapers in my life, but what I am about to relate to you is not for the faint of heart (or stomach). As I was finishing up making breakfast (chocolate chip pancakes-yum!) Kenta asked me if I could stick around to help with the kids so he could study. I was hesitant - thinking about the practicing that I needed to do- but I said yes. I figured his needs were greater than mine - we aren't going to be making a living off of my harp playing, after all. So I stayed. Then Kenta said I could go ahead and go if I needed to (such a good husband!). That slight delay in my plans gave Abby enough time to concoct the most disgusting output of human waste that I have ever beheld. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and I hear "Sister Hood!" (I've been hearing that a lot lately) "Sister Hood! Abby pooped in her pants and now it's on her back". Again, I wasn't overly concerned. I am well-acquainted with the types of messy diapers that leak onto backs. But this was out of control. It was unreal. An explosion of mass proportions had occured in Abby's diaper, which resulted in more poop on her back and stomach than was actually in the diaper. I quickly had to figure out a way to strip her down without spilling the liquipoop out. I will not explain why I call it liquipoop. I believe that an explanation would be entirely unnecessary. So, we had to pull the nasty onesie off of her and stuck her straight in the tub. We hosed the soiled clothes off and I had Marissa run grab me a grocery sack to put the liquipoop diaper in so we could take it directly out to the garbage. I think poor little Abby was traumatized by the whole experience. I can testify that Craisins are a non-digestable food. After she was clean and rediapered, I walked into the study to fill Kenta in on what he had missed. It was at that moment that I was so grateful that I had been here for the liquipoop. I couldn't have imagined Kenta trying to figure out what to do. Someday, he'll be better prepared for it. I think it would be easier to ease into a situation like that with your own newborn baby. But instantly going from 0 to 4 kids can be a little tricky. I only got about an hour of practicing in yesterday, but I felt good about what I was able to do. I felt a great sense of accomplishment serving someone besides myself yesterday. And I got to see Mitchel's soccer team spank Brent Venable's son's team (Venable's was "coaching" his son from the sideline - typical soccer dad).

We did have some great successes during the day. Kenta set all the clocks in the house forward at noon so we wouldn't have fights at bedtime. They went to bed around "8:30". Mitchel complained that he was not tired and I told him to stay in bed anyway. It was his bedtime, right? I let them sleep in a little too late this morning. I don't know how long it takes to get four kids out the door for church. Somehow we managed to only be about 5 minutes late. I had left my makeup bag at home, so I looked like Death. For some reason I couldn't find my deodorant, so I almost went to church undeodorized (I found it literally as we were walking out the door). I made an executive decision that we only had time to brush teeth, not hair. So we had some crazy hair at church today. All of us. Luckily Abby didn't liquipoop until we got home. Now I am dealing with bored children on a Sunday afternoon. Thank goodness for Lincoln logs.

All in all, I have really enjoyed being a "Mom". It's something that I have always looked forward to and can't wait to be. I have a lot to learn still - Marisa pointed out to me in church that I was supposed to put a onesie underneath Abby's dress - oops. I had to borrow wipes because I couldn't find the little diaper bag size container at home. But other than the liquipoop and a few squabbles here and there, things have been pretty chill. After our display at church today, I don't know if anyone would really trust me with their kids again (the kids were very well-behaved, but they looked like they had just rolled out of bed. Okay, probably because they did). As much fun as wathcing other people's kids can be, it'll be nice someday when we have out own. Until then, I'll just keep playing mommy when I am needed and get all the practice I can.

There were some great successes